The holiday season often arrives wrapped in expectation—of joy, togetherness, celebration, and tradition. But when someone we love has died, those same weeks can feel tender, complicated, or even overwhelming. The festivities that once brought comfort can suddenly highlight an empty chair, a missing voice, or the ache of routines forever changed. At Stillwater Hospice, we walk with people through all seasons of grief, and we know that this time of year can be especially challenging.
Grief doesn’t take a holiday. It shows up in our homes, in our memories, in the quiet moments between gatherings. Yet even in loss, the holidays can still hold meaning, connection, and, slowly, moments of peace. There is no single “right” way to navigate this season—but there are gentle practices that can help you honor both your grief and your capacity for joy.
- Give Yourself Permission to Feel What You Feel
Grief can bring a wide range of emotions: sadness, anger, gratitude, numbness, relief, or even unexpected laughter. This season will not look the same as previous years—and that’s okay. Try releasing the pressure to “be cheerful” or keep every tradition exactly as it was. Let yourself move at the pace your heart can manage. Compassion for yourself is a form of healing.
- Reimagine Traditions, Don’t Rush to Replace Them
Some traditions may bring comfort; others may feel too painful right now. You might decide to keep one beloved ritual, modify another, or create something entirely new. Light a candle at the dinner table. Share a favorite story. Cook your loved one’s favorite holiday dish. Or choose a quiet night at home rather than attending a large gathering. Grief invites us to carry forward what feels meaningful while gently setting aside what does not.
- Create Space to Remember
The holidays can be a beautiful time to honor memories. Consider setting up a small remembrance area in your home—a photo, a meaningful object, a handwritten note. Invite family members or friends to contribute a memory or message. At Stillwater Hospice’s annual Holiday Memorial Service and Tree Lighting, we see the power of remembrance in community; you can bring that same intention into your personal celebrations.
- Let Others Support You
You don’t have to navigate this season alone. Lean on trusted friends, family, faith communities, or support groups. Ask for help with tasks that feel difficult—shopping, decorating, cooking, or simply keeping you company. Many people want to support you; they may just wait for guidance. It’s okay to tell them what you need.
And if grief feels heavy or isolating, the Peggy F. Murphy Community Grief Center offers free, specialized counseling and support groups for adults. Whether in person or via telehealth, our grief counselors walk beside you with compassion and guidance, helping you name your emotions and find ways to cope.
- Practice Small Acts of Self-Care
During a season of busyness and expectation, tending to your own well-being is essential. Rest when you can. Take a walk. Listen to music that soothes you. Spend time outdoors. Say no without guilt. Choose activities that help you feel grounded, even for a few minutes. Healing often begins in these small, intentional acts.
- Allow Moments of Joy—They Are Not a Betrayal
Experiencing joy, laughter, or connection after a loss does not mean you are “moving on” or forgetting. It simply means you are human. Joy and grief can coexist, and allowing yourself to feel both honors the full love you carry.
The holidays after a death are rarely easy, but they can still offer space for love, reflection, meaning, and even gentle hope. At Stillwater Hospice, we stand beside you with compassion and comfort as you navigate this season in your own way. You are not alone—and your grief, like your love, matters.